Ever felt guilty for taking time for yourself?
Maybe you didn’t take a work break because someone else needed you.
Or maybe you ignored feeling exhausted, and said to yourself, I’ll rest when everything else is done.
I’ll let you in on a secret, you’re not the only one. Many women are conditioned to believe that putting themselves first is selfish. But here’s the truth: Self-love isn’t selfish—it’s essential.
When you prioritize yourself, you’re not neglecting others, you’re making sure you have the energy, patience, and emotional balance to show up fully in every part of your life and be there for your loved ones.
Today we’re going to talk about:
What self-love really means
How self-love connects to self-care
Practical ways to show yourself love every day
Let’s dive in!
What’s Self-Love & Why Does It Matter?
Self-love isn’t just about feeling good about yourself—it’s really about how you treat yourself every day. It’s a commitment to valuing, respecting, and caring for yourself in the same way you would a loved one.
Self-Love Matters Because:
It builds emotional resilience. You’re better equipped to handle life’s challenges when you nurture yourself.
It prevents burnout. Ignoring your needs leads to exhaustion, resentment, and stress.
It improves relationships. When you love yourself, you teach others how to treat you with the same kindness. And you have enough love to spread to others.
But even though it’s so important, many of us are on the struggle bus when it comes to self-love. And some of that is because of common myths and misconceptions.
Common Myths About Self-Love (and the Truth!)
Myth 1: Self-love is selfish.
Truth: Taking care of yourself allows you to take care of others more effectively.
Myth 2: Self-love is only about pampering yourself.
Truth: Self-love is about setting boundaries, positive self-talk (speaking kindly to yourself), and prioritizing your needs.
Myth 3: Self-love means ignoring self-improvement.
Truth: You can love yourself while striving to grow—true self-love includes self-acceptance and self-improvement.
The Connection Between Self-Love & Self-Care
Self-care is self-love in ACTION. Loving yourself isn’t just a feeling, it’s a daily practice (or at least is should be).
Think about it like this:
Self-love is the belief that you are worthy of care.
Self-care is the way you put that belief into action.
When you truly love yourself, you naturally make choices that prioritize your well-being. For example, you:
✔ Get enough rest instead of overworking yourself.
✔ Say no to things that drain your energy.
✔ Make time for things that bring you joy.
Signs You’re Lacking Self-Love & Self-Care
If you’re unsure whether you need to work on this, ask yourself:
Do I struggle to say “no” to things I don’t want to do?
Do I feel guilty when I take time for myself?
Do I often ignore my own needs in favor of helping others?
Do I experience constant stress, exhaustion, or resentment?
If you answered yes to any of these, then you might be on the road to burnout and it’s time to start showing yourself more love through intentional self-care.
How to Practice Self-Love Through Self-Care
Now that you know self-care is an essential part of self-love, let’s talk about real, practical ways to implement it in your daily life.
When you’re all alone, the way you speak to yourself matters. Pay attention to the way you talk to yourself, would you say those same words to a friend?
🌱 Try this: Replace self-criticism with compassionate self-talk.
Here’s an example:
💬 Instead of: “I’m failing at everything.”
💖 Say: “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
2. Set & Maintain Boundaries
Loving yourself means protecting your time, energy, and well-being. Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out—it’s about making space for what matters most to you.
🌱 Try this: If you tend to say “yes” to everything, practice saying, “I appreciate the opportunity, but I don’t have the bandwidth right now.”
3. Nourish Your Body & Mind
Self-love includes taking care of your physical health and mental well-being.
🌱 Try this:
Fuel your body with food that makes you feel good.
Move in ways that bring you joy (not punishment!).
Schedule mental health breaks (meditation, journaling, etc.).
4. Prioritize Rest Without Guilt
It’s important to change your thinking about rest (and relaxation). Rest is not a reward, it’s a necessity. Skipping sleep, ignoring fatigue, and running on empty isn’t a badge of honor, despite what our culture may say.
🌱 Try this: Create an evening routine that helps you unwind, such as:
✔ Light stretching or deep breathing exercises.
✔ Reflecting on 3 things you’re grateful for.
5. Celebrate Yourself On The Regular
Do you acknowledge your small wins? You should. Too often, we focus on what we haven’t done instead of celebrating what we have.
🌱 Try this: Keep a self-love journal where you write down:
✔ One thing you’re proud of each day.
✔ An affirmation that lifts you up.
✔ A moment when you showed yourself kindness.
Self-Love Isn’t Optional—It’s Essential
When you practice self-love through self-care, you’re not taking away from others—you’re making yourself stronger, healthier, and more present.
Let’s talk: What’s one way you’ll show yourself love this week? Let me know in the comments section and let’s start a conversation!
Cassandra Martin-Himmons, LMSW is a stress management coach and content creator. She believes in empowering her clients to help them manage their stress and increase their self-care. In her spare time she enjoys papercrafting, hand embroidery and travel. Connect with her on Instagram or YouTube.
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