top of page
  • Writer's pictureCassandra Martin-Himmons

12 Ways To Talk That Positive Self-Talk

When you’re all alone, how well do you treat yourself?

I know we all know people who seem like they have all the luck. They set out to conquer and they do. They’re successful at work, in their private lives and enjoy good health. It stands to reason that they seem happy most of the time.

If you get to know them, what you may find out is that they succeed because they have a positive outlook, which stems from one thing that they do: They indulge in positive self-talk.

Many of us engage in negative self-talk related to having imposter syndrome feelings. Thankfully, positive self-talk is something that can be learned. In this post, I’ll discuss 12 ways for you to add more positive self-talk into your life.

Why is it important to engage in positive self-talk?

  • Positive self-talk is one way of managing your stress before your stress manages you.

  • Positive self-talk changes your outlook on life – it helps you cope with the hard times.

  • Positive self-talk can lead to better physical health, happiness, and success in every aspect of your life.

With so much at stake, it’s obvious that switching your brain over to a habit of positive self-talk is not only a good idea but a necessary one if you want to become all that you can be.

Read on for 12 ways to train your brain for positive self-talk.

Listen To Your Inner Dialogue

Do you hear what you’re saying? Everyone has a constant stream of self-talk going on in their heads. Start paying attention to the words you use when you talk to yourself. It might seem obvious, but if you want to start engaging in positive self-talk, you need to drop the negative.

Start by identifying your triggers. What types of situations trigger you to engage in negative self-talk? What are those negative words and phrases that you use most often? What positive words or phrases can you substitute?

You can do some prep work ahead of time by writing out your positive substitutes and looking at them often. Because you should treat yourself at least half as well as you treat others.

Make It Fun

It’s impossible to keep feeling negative when you’re laughing. Look for the humor in your situation, it’ll change your entire attitude. As your outlook shifts, you’ll find yourself feeling more positive. Which can shift your self-talk as well. You laugh internally and feel better about yourself.

Explore Optimism

Positive self-talk stems from an optimistic viewpoint. When you’re dealing with a new situation, make a conscious effort to see the bright side. Assume the best-case scenario. This optimism carries into your self-talk.

Persistence is Key

We all know that practice makes perfect. You’re not going to totally change your mindset overnight, so don’t get discouraged. If you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, don’t fall into a blame spiral, thinking you’ve failed. Take it easy on yourself, and simply remind yourself of something positive. If you need help remembering these steps, try posting affirmations where you’ll see them frequently.

Positive Self-talk becomes a habit when you practice it daily. The more you hang in there and try, the more optimistic you’ll feel and you’ll be talking that positive self-talk.

Be Here In The Now

Many of us worry about the future and carry regrets about the past. It’s no wonder focusing on things outside of the present can lead to negative self-talk. It’s much easier to talk that positive self-talk if you engage in the moment, by acting mindfully.

Find Your Calm

It’s important every to refresh and renew yourself mentally. This can’t always be done in a noisy environment where you’re constantly being bombarded by stimuli. That’s why you must seek quiet or meditate each day. Even a few minutes spent in a quiet room will allow you space to disengage and let go of negative thoughts.

Find Your Spiritual Self

Whatever your belief system, connecting to God, nature or just something larger than yourself has a way of centering you. Engaging in a spiritual practice, be it prayer, worship, or even something that gives you feelings of hope or love will generate a positive internal response which will make it easier to speak positively to yourself.

Practice Gratitude

Every day be thankful. Gratitude improves your mood and overall happiness, making it just that much easier to maintain a positive mindset and talking that positive self-talk.

Perform Random Acts Of Kindness

Did you know that doing something for others stimulates dopamine production in your brain, leaving you long-lasting happy feelings? Find small ways to pay it forward. Everyday practice a random act of kindness for another.


There’s nothing more healing or positive than laughter. Look for the humor in situations. Find reasons to laugh daily. One great new thing to try is something that I’ve written about before which is called laughter yoga. According to Yoga Journal, laughter yoga combines yoga, breathing and laughter.

Flip The Script

Still getting caught up in negative thoughts? For each negative thought that you have, try to listen to what you’re saying and rephrase the thought more positively. Challenge any negative assumptions. Turn dire predictions into questions. Look for solutions instead of assuming defeat.

Shake What Your Momma Gave Ya

You’ve got to move it or lose it! As humans, we were meant to move. There have been a multitude of studies that have shown that exercise stimulates a positive chemical response in your brain and that chemical response has long-lasting effects. In short, it’s much easier to think positive when you’re feeling good.

That’s where exercise comes into play. Now as with any other habit, you shouldn’t expect overnight success especially if you’ve been inactive. As you start exercising and feeling better inside and out, you should find it easier to maintain a conversation of positive self-talk.

So, there you have it, 12 ways to mange your stress by switching from negative self-talk to positive self-talk.

Switching from a negative inner dialogue over to a positive one-talk is going to take time and patience. If you slip up, don’t beat yourself up and get caught in a cycle of blame or despair. Instead, take your positive thought and keep going. Eventually, this optimistic outlook will become automatic. And you’ll be able to easily talk that positive self-talk. It's all about Making Time.

Let’s talk. What kind of positive things do you say to yourself? Let me know in the comments section.


Cassandra Martin-Himmons is a trainer, wellness coach and consultant who believes in empowering her clients and providing the tools that they need to make positive changes in their lives to manage their stress and increase their self-care. In her spare time, she enjoys papercrafting, volunteering and travel. Connect with her on Instagram or Linked/In


bottom of page